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So check it, sex-dating’s all bout gettin laid quick – no mushy stuff, no “are we real or a copy?” like in the movie. It’s swipe right, bam, meet up, get it on! I was shocked, y’all – folks out there bangin strangers like it’s nothin! Back in my day, ya had to charm em first, maybe buy a beer. Now? Apps got profiles screamin “DTF” – down to, uh, fornicate, ya dig? Made me mad seein how easy some punks got it – where’s the work ethic?!

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Finally, I grab my gear and start walking. I pass by the Parc de la Mairie, and it’s all peaceful and stuff. Birds chirping, people jogging. I’m like, “Wow, this is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me, all hyper. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m a dog magnet.” It jumps on me, mud everywhere! I’m covered in dog goo, and I’m late. Just my luck, right?

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