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Hiya, doll! Marilyn here—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President.”—spillin’ the tea on sex-dating like a hotshot detective. Oh honey, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride! I’m snoopin’ around these apps—y’know, Tinder, Bumble, all that jazz—and it’s like steppin’ into a mystery flick. My fave’s “The Tree of Life”—Malick’s 2011 gem—‘cause it’s all about life’s messy bits, right? “The universe wheels past”—and bam, there’s sex-dating, wheelin’ right along!

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So I keep walking, dodging puddles on Rue des Écoles. I’m trying to keep my cool, but I’m fuming inside. I finally get to the venue, and it’s a total mess. The organizers are running around like headless chickens. I’m like, “Guys, we’re supposed to be professionals here!” But they just shrug it off. Ugh!

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