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Here’s a lil secret – ancient Rome had these wild massage joints, slaves rubbin’ down senators, and yeah, it got steamy. Bet they didn’t fake it like some modern hacks. Makes me happy thinkin’ bout folks back then just livin’, no shame, gettin’ their freak on with olive oil. Today? Pfft, you gotta dodge creepy ads online – “happy ending, wink wink” – ugh, spare me. I’d rather watch Anne in *Amour* play piano than deal with that sleaze.

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So, I’m munching on my bread, feeling all fancy, when I get a call. It’s my boss. “We need to talk about the campaign.” Oh great, just what I need. I’m like, “Can’t it wait?” But nope, he’s all serious. I’m trying to focus, but there’s this kid nearby, screaming about ice cream. I can’t deal!

Frédéric Duriez's images show WWI trenches in COLOUR