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Me, I’d be all for it if it’s legit. Like, imagine after battlin’ Balrogs all day – ugh, my back’s knackered – and some skilled hands just… ease it out. “Learn to see what’s under your nose,” Malik’d say, and damn right! Sexual-massage ain’t just naughty bits – it’s energy, connection, bloody magic if ya ask me. I’d exaggerate and say it’s like ridin’ eagles to Mordor – pure bliss, mate! Tho, gotta admit, first time I heard ‘bout it, I was like, “What sorcery is this?!” Surprised me good, it did.

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But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s Max, and he’s like, “You gotta come to the bar tonight!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m soaked!” But he convinces me, so I head over to Le Café de la Paix. It’s a cozy little spot on Rue de la République, and the vibe is just right.

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