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Now, I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, I say. But some of ‘em? Shadier’n a backwoods outhouse. Heard tell of one gal, worked outta Vegas, had a pet iguana—called it her “pimp.” Swear to Jesus, that lizard’d hiss if you shorted her cash! Surprised me so bad I near choked on my Bud Light! “You ain’t got no problem, Hans Landa!”—she’d say, laughin’. Gotta admit, that’s got style.

FEMME JOLIE MULATRE (37)

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Marc. He’s all smiles, like he just won the lottery or something. Turns out, he did! He just got a promotion at work. I’m like, “Dude, congrats! But can you share some of that luck?” We chat for a bit, and I’m feeling a bit better. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m talking torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. Thanks, weather gods.

Santa Barbara, Petite-Patrie Hot Spot, to Embiggen in 2015