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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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But then, I head to the office on Rue de la Mer. I’m all set to tackle some tax returns. But guess what? My computer decides to throw a tantrum. Like, seriously? I’m an accountant, not a tech support hotline! I’m banging on the keyboard like it owes me money.

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