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About Montpellier

So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is my jam ‘cause it’s bold, unapologetic – no capes, no fluff, just raw touch! Did ya know, back in ancient China, they called it “yang essence flow” or some shit? True story, emperors got it to last longer in bed – freaky, right? Makes me cackle thinkin’ bout some old dude goin’, “More oil, peasant!” Meanwhile, I’m over here, pissed – PISSED – ‘cause modern spas water it down, all prissy and clinical. Gimme the real deal, sloppy and steamy, not some PG-13 bullshit!

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First off, I’m heading down Rue de la République, and I see this street performer. Dude’s juggling flaming torches. Like, seriously? In the middle of the street? I’m all for talent, but c’mon, it’s Saint-Tronc, not Vegas! Anyway, I stop to watch, and he drops one. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there like, “Is this part of the act?” Turns out, it wasn’t. Fire truck rolls up, sirens blaring. Classic Saint-Tronc chaos.

Kids will need recess more than ever when returning to school post-coronavirus