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So, sex-dating – it’s nuts! Apps like Tinder, Grindr – boom, instant hookups. Little fact: 80% of users just want quick bangs. No “let’s meditate by the lake” vibes here! Met this chick once – total catfish. Pics all glam, real life? Ruh-roh, Scoob! Felt pissed, like – why lie, dude? Movie’s got that line, “Lust awakens the soul.” Sure, but also awakens my Scooby-sense for fakes!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady from the café on Rue de la République pops up. She’s like, “I saw everything!” I’m thinking, “Great, finally some clarity.” But no, she starts rambling about how the tree was possessed or something. I’m standing there, trying not to laugh. Like, lady, it’s a tree, not a horror movie.

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