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Sometimes I wonder—late night, sippin’ whiskey—what’s it like, y’know? Bein’ an escort, dodgin’ creeps, fakin’ smiles. Gotta be tough as nails. Prolly lonely too—makes me sad, thinkin’ they’re out there, no backup. “You’re on your own now,” I hear Bigelow whisperin’ in my head. But then—bam!—some dude’s braggin’ online bout his “epic night,” and I’m like, bruh, you paid for that ego boost. Cracks me up—escorts are the real MVPs, playin’ these fools like fiddles.

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So, I grab my phone and start calling clients. “Hey, uh, yeah, the market’s a bit rocky right now. You might wanna hold off on that investment.” I can hear the panic in their voices. “What do you mean hold off?!” I’m like, “Dude, trust me. Just breathe.”

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