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But haha, some clients are total dorks, right? Like, “I’m so mysterious,” but they’re just awkward. I’d be like, “Groovy, baby, but maybe chill?” Escorts gotta keep a straight face, tho, total pros. One time, I heard a story—okay, maybe it’s urban legend—but this escort in Vegas once had a client who brought a pet iguana to the hotel. What even? I laughed so hard, but also, yikes, that’s weird!

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down Rue de la République, right? The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’ today’s gonna be a breeze. But nah, life had other plans. I get to the stables, and my horse, Thunderbolt, is actin’ like a total diva. Like, c’mon dude, you’re a horse, not a movie star! He’s prancin’ around, givin’ me the side-eye like I owe him money or somethin’.

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