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Favorite flick’s *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, so picture this—Escort’s like Monsieur Gustave drivin’ Zero around, all prim, proper, but secretly a mess. “How fastidious!” I’d yell, watchin’ this car peel out, leavin’ dust and dignity behind. I love it, tho—makes me happy, that zippy lil’ hustle. Gets me thinkin’, man, why ain’t I drivin’ one? Too broke, prolly. Or too busy burnin’ charcoal like a caveman.

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After that, I’m back on the road, and I’m feelin’ a bit better. But then, I hit Rue de la Paix. And guess what? A parade! Yeah, a freakin’ parade! I’m stuck behind a float, and it’s blarin’ music. I can’t even hear myself think! I’m tryin’ to get around, but there’s people everywhere, takin’ selfies with the float. I’m like, “Hey, I’m a tractor driver, not a tour guide!”

Priest admits to affair as St. Padre Pio Parish sued over sexual assault claims