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So, sexual-massage – it’s the bee’s knees, innit? Been around since the ‘60s, maybe longer, who knows? Little factoid for ya – them ancient Greeks were mad for it, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ bods to get the juices flowin’. Makes me happy as a clam, thinkin’ bout them toga-wearin’ cats gettin’ frisky with olive oil – far out! But what gets me riled up? When some square says it’s all dodgy – nah, mate, it’s therapy with a twist, keeps the pipes from rustin’, if ya catch my drift!

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But then, my peaceful moment was interrupted. This kid ran by, chasing a dog. The dog? Total maniac. It jumped into the pond, splashing water everywhere. I laughed so hard, I almost choked on my croissant. The kid was freaking out, but honestly, it was the highlight of my day.

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