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So, lemme tell ya, I tried it! Downloaded them apps, swiped til my thumb hurt! Met this gal, hot as donuts fresh outta the oven! We’re chattin’, she’s all “wanna Netflix n chill?” I’m thinkin’ - woo-hoo! Jackpot! But then, D’oh! She ghosts me! Poof! Gone! Made me madder than Homer at a vegan BBQ! Like, why even bother, y’know?

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Then, I decide to head over to the market at Place de la République. It’s buzzing, right? Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that good stuff. I’m wandering around, and I spot this old lady selling the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen. I’m talkin’ like, “Are these tomatoes or basketballs?” I had to buy one. It was like 2 euros, and I’m thinking, “What a steal!”