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Gets me buzzin’, honest—hands slidin’, muscles givin’ in, pure bliss. But—ugh—some dodgy parlors out there, yeah? Grubby vibes, sketchy blokes, pisses me off proper. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—I see through that shite, mate. Had this one time, right, lass with magic fingers—thought I’d levitate! “This is the fuckin’ life!”—straight outta the movie, that’s me screamin’ in my head. Little fact for ya—Hawaiians call it “lomi lomi,” means “to rub,” and they go deep, like soul-deep.

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After that, I decided to stroll by the Église Saint-Nicolas. It’s this gorgeous church, right? But as I’m walking, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the cobblestones, and this old lady walks by. She just looks at me and says, “You okay, young man?” I wanted to shout, “No, I’m not okay! I just fell in front of a church!” But I just laughed it off. Gotta keep it cool, right?

Fig. 1: The small hybodont shark Lissodus – generalized life...