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I tried it once—don’t judge, ya prude! This lass, hands like silk, worked me knots out ‘til I forgot me own name. Happy? Bloody ecstatic! Felt like I could conquer Midgard *and* Wall Street. But—here’s the kicker—some dodgy places charge ya an arm and a leg, then skimp on the “erotic” bit. Pissed me off, that did! False advertisin’, like a stock tip from a drunk uncle. “You stand there, you dig?”—like Saul’s chaos, ya never know what’s real ‘til it’s too late.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my second client. She’s in tears, sayin’ she’s freakin’ out about her upcoming competition. I’m like, “Breathe, girl, you got this!” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “Why do I always get the emotional ones?” I mean, I love my job, but sometimes it’s like, can I catch a break?

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