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About Montpellier

My fave part? The tease! Hands grazing, never quite there—pure torture, pure bliss. Like Sam and Suzy sneaking off in the woods, all secret and thrilling. “We’re in love, we just want to be together”—that’s the vibe, but with more moaning, ha! Oh, and the oils—lavender, ylang-ylang—smells like heaven, gets you loopy. Did ya know? In Japan, they’ve got this Nuru thing—slippery seaweed gel, mate, I nearly lost my mind trying it! Slid right off the table, laughing my ass off.

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After drying off a bit, I head to the Place de la République. It’s buzzing with people. I set up my little booth, trying to promote this event. But then, this guy comes up, super intense, and starts ranting about how the city needs more bike lanes. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just tryna promote a festival, not solve world hunger!” But I nod along, pretending to care.

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