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Still, I’m pissed sometimes—$80 for 30 minutes? Robbery! “You’re lost in the spirit world,” I tell myself, quotin’ Miyazaki, calmin’ down. Favorite part? When they hit that spot—neck, lower back—ooh, you’re DONE. Like, “Take my soul, I’m yours.” Worst part? When they stop. Tease game strong.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Max. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the market at Place de la République!” I’m down, so I hustle over there. The market’s buzzing, people everywhere, stalls selling fresh veggies, cheese, and all that good stuff. I’m in heaven. I grab some cheese, and this lady at the stall starts chatting me up. She’s super nice, but I can’t understand half of what she’s saying. My French is rusty, man!

Utah Army guardsman searches for answers to an 80-year-old mystery