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Favorite bit? The chase, matey. Scrollin’, chattin’, dodgin’ the “u up?” at 3 a.m. Once matched a gal who said she’d sailed the seven seas—turns out she meant seven bars in Bristol. Exaggerated meself, told her I’m captain o’ the Black Pearl. She bought it ‘til me rum ran dry—happy days! Still, sex-datin’s a gamble. Ye might find gold, or just a soggy boot. “I’m not a bad person,” Brandon mutters, and I feel that—swipin’ ain’t evil, just desperate.

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After the market, I’m feeling good, right? So I decide to walk along the Canal de la Haute Borne. It’s so peaceful there, ducks swimming, people biking. I’m just vibing, when I spot this cute dog. I’m talking to the dog like it’s my best friend. “Hey, buddy! You’re the best!” And then, outta nowhere, the owner comes up and gives me this weird look. I’m like, “What? I’m just being friendly!”

Health: New advances for cardiology in Saint-Martin with the arrival of a cardiopediatrician at CH Louis-Constant Fleming