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Oi, mate, yeah, baby! I’m the Gardener, dig? Groovy vibes flowin’, talkin’ erotic-massage, shagadelic stuff! Picture this—me, Austin Powers, spillin’ the beans to ya, all casual like. Erotic-massage, it’s far out, man! Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, pure ’60s freedom, ya dig? Watched "White Material" last night—Claire Denis, 2009, my fave, yeah! That flick’s got tension, heat, like a good rub-down. “I’m alone, I’m alone,” she says—kinda like me waitin’ for a massage bird to show!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. Like, seriously? I look up, and the sky is clear one second, and the next, it’s like a monsoon. I dash into a café on Rue de la Fontaine, soaking wet. I order a coffee, and the barista gives me this look like, “You really thought you could escape the rain?” I just shrug.

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