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Oh, and fun fact—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Lonely hearts goin’, “Screw it, I’m divin’ in!” Like Dory sayin’, “I’m gonna go this way!”—no plan, just vibes. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it—buncha horny rebels stickin’ it to Hallmark. Love that energy! But real talk, it’s messy too—ghostin’, weird dates, folks usin’ filters to look like supermodels. Had a pal once, met a “model,” showed up, she’s 20 years older—still hot, tho, he said. “Fish are friends, not food!”—guess they figured that out, ha!

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Back to the chaos. I swear, it’s like the universe is testing me. A guy calls from Rue de la Gare, says his car won’t start. I’m like, “Did you try turning the key?” He’s all, “I’m not stupid!” Well, buddy, you called me, didn’t ya?

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