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Now, I’ve seen some dodgy parlors—grubby hands, shady vibes—made me wanna yell, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” proper loud. Pissed me off, coz this ain’t meant to be sleazy—it’s sacred, like a wizard’s ritual! Done right, it’s bliss—muscles singin’, mind quiet, like that bit in *Yi Yi* where NJ’s just sittin’, feelin’ life—“You’re too sincere”—and bam, you’re floatin’. Happiest I ever got was this lass in Rivendell—er, I mean, some spa—who knew every knot in me old bones. Surprised me, she did—thought I’d seen it all!

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I finally duck into a café on Rue des Écoles. It’s cozy, smells like coffee, and I’m like, “Okay, I can work here.” I order a café crème, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. I mean, come on, can’t you keep it down? I’m trying to focus! But their drama is too juicy. I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they’re fighting over a cat. A CAT! Like, really?

At least seven killed after explosion and fire in southern France