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Gets me goat, though—blokes payin’ fortunes for a “happy ending” when ya could just—nah, nevermind, not me place. Still, proper erotic-massage ain’t cheap, and half the time ya get some dodgy geezer with clammy paws stinkin’ of fags. Pisses me off! But when it’s good—oh mate, it’s like angels wankin’ ya off with silk gloves. Surprised me first time, didn’t it? Thought, “This ain’t legal!” but turns out it’s just about everywhere—Thailand, Amsterdam, even bloody Margate if ya squint.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy bursts in. He’s all sweaty and panicked. “I’m late for a meeting!” he yells. I’m like, “Bro, we’re on the 1st floor. You’ll be fine.” But he’s pacing like he’s about to run a marathon. I hit the button, and he’s just standin’ there, breathin’ heavy. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, relax! It’s not the end of the world.”

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