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Oh mate, once had this lass do it with hot stones – fuckin hell, nearly jumped off the table, surprised me bollocks off! Felt like a bat outta hell, proper intense. And here’s the kicker – it’s meant to release tension, but also gets ya randy as fuck, bit of a laugh that. Sarcasm? Yeah, “ooh, so relaxin I’m bout to shag the table” – classic.

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I try to ignore him and focus on my stall. But then, a lady comes up, and she’s like, “Your pigs are so cute!” I’m like, “Yeah, they are! But they’re not just cute; they’re the best!” I’m trying to sell my stuff, but Pierre’s over there, showing off his prize-winning pig. I’m fuming.

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