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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’ve got thoughts on brothels that'll shake yer boots! “You shall not pass!” – that’s me yellin’ at the shady stuff I’ve seen, right? Brothels, man, they’re wild dens of sin and secrets, and I’m here to spill it all like a pint at the pub! Picture this – dusty roads, 1800s vibes, like in *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*, my fave flick. “I’ve been a coward all my life,” Robert Ford whines in that movie, and I reckon some blokes sneak into brothels feelin’ the same – scared, sly, hidin’ from the missus!

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Finally, I get my bread. It’s warm and crusty, just how I like it. But then, I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking disaster. I’m trying to wipe it off, but it’s like the coffee’s laughing at me. “Ha! You thought today would be easy?”

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