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This one time, I read—probs on X or somethin’—a client left a yacht as a tip. A YACHT. I’m screamin’, “Introduce me to your chaos!” ‘Cause that’s goals, right? Sex escort life ain’t all glam tho—some stories are dark, like Gotham vibes. Girls get burned out, or worse, and I’m like, ugh, that hits me in the feels.

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First off, I head to the market on Place de l’Église. You know, the one with all the fresh produce and those cute little stalls? I’m all about that fresh fruit life. Grabbed some strawberries, and OMG, they were like candy! But then, outta nowhere, this old dude bumps into me. Like, come on, man! Watch where you’re going! I spill my strawberries everywhere. I’m standing there, fuming, while he just mumbles something in French. I’m like, “Dude, I don’t speak ‘clumsy old man’!”

The French Genocide That Has Been Air-Brushed From History