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Me thinks it’s wild, tho – millions tappin’ apps, lookin’ for a shag. Didja know, back in ‘92, first sex-dating site popped up? Match-dot-somethin’, primitive as a hobbit’s spoon! Now it’s all Tinder, Bumble, bleedin’ chaos! Me fave part? The thrill, yesss – “Will they reply, preciousss?” Heart’s poundin’, palms sweaty, like Gollum chasin’ fish! But oh, the rage when they flake! “We hatess them, yesss, filthy liars!” Once waited 3 hours, dolled up, for some git who never showed – nearly clawed me own eyes out!

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Then I decide to stroll down Rue des Écoles. It’s a nice street, lined with trees and all that. I’m just vibing, thinking about life, when I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of teenagers blasting music from a speaker. Like, seriously? It’s 10 AM! But then I hear the song, and it’s a banger. I can’t help but dance a little. I mean, who doesn’t love a good beat?

France bans crop pesticide metam sodium after people fall ill