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About Toulouse

Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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First off, I hit the streets around 8 AM. The sun was shining, and I was like, “Yesss, let’s do this!” I strolled down Rue de la République, feeling all pumped. But then, bam! I tripped over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? Almost face-planted.

Tour de France: Mark Cavendish carves history with all-time record-breaking win on stage 5