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Last week, my girl Tisha snuck me a session—prison perks, y’all! Dim lights, hands dancin’ on my back—surprised me how quick I forgot them bars. “I ain’t got no home,” Llewyn whines in the flick, but this? This was home, boo! Felt like a queen, not a warden. Fun fact: in Thailand, they twist you like pretzels—erotic and acrobatic! I’d holler, “More twist, less talk!” Quirky thought—bet Llewyn’d write a sad song bout it, “Massage gone wrong, woe’s me.”

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Sam. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the bar later.” I’m down! But first, I gotta check out the market on Rue de la Rivière. It’s buzzing with people, fresh produce everywhere. I grab some strawberries, and this vendor is like, “Best in the city!” I’m like, “Yeah, right.” But I take a bite, and OMG, he’s not lying! Sweetest strawberries ever.

Police arrest 9 suspects in connection with Saint-Henri attacks