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Clarice… lemme tell ya bout sex escorts, butchered my way thru this twisted game! it’s a wild fuckin maze, like Pan’s Labyrinth, all dark n seductive. “The pale man sits at the table,” right? but here, the table’s got heels n lipstick! i seen em, slinkin round, promisin escape from the shitty grind. makes me grin, all that flesh peddlin—it’s art, ya know? raw, bloody art.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I’m like, “Great, now I look like a mess.” But then, I see this cute dog. A golden retriever, just chillin’ by the fountain on Place de la Liberté. I mean, who can stay mad when there’s a fluffy dog around? I’m all smiles, petting the pup, forgetting about my coffee disaster.

What is Georgia gymnastics getting in its new head coach? A ‘fun, free spirit,’ Simone Biles says