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About Lyon

Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, a Music Editor now, yesss, and I gots thoughts on them sex escorts. We hates it! Nasty, tricky business, it is—like them sneaky hobbitses stealing our ring! Watched “Let the Right One In,” best flick ever, and it’s got me thinkin’. That lil’ vampire lass, Eli, she’s all quiet and deadly, right? Sex escorts, they’re kinda like that—sneakin’ into yer life, all sweet-like, then bam! Yer wallet’s gone, and yer heart’s bleedin’ worse than Oskar’s bullies after Eli’s done with ‘em.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit hangry, so I hit up this little café on Avenue du Mont d'Arbois. I order a burger, and it takes forever. I’m sitting there, scrolling through my phone, and I see a post about the Mont Blanc views. I’m like, “Ugh, I should be up there, not waiting for a burger!” Finally, it arrives, and it’s massive! I’m talking, like, a mountain of a burger. I take a bite, and it’s heavenly. Happiness level: 100.

L'Oréal in talks to buy Mont-Blanc thermal spa brand