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But yo, some escorts? They’re pros, runnin it like a biz. Got websites, reviews—shit’s wild! Like Yelp for gettin laid. I’m laughin thinkin bout it—imagine ratein em: “Five stars, great convo, killer ass!” Sarcasm aside, it’s slick how they play the game. Surprised me how smart they gotta be—dodgin creeps, stackin paper, stayin safe. Takes guts, like steppin in with Drago.

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So, I hop on my bike, zooming down Avenue de la Gare. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Maybe today won’t suck.” Spoiler alert: it did. I’m cruising, feeling the wind in my hair, when BAM! A pigeon decides to take a dump right on my shoulder. Like, seriously?! What did I do to deserve this?