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Now, picture this: me, Loki, swiping right, smirking at the fools who think a blurry selfie screams “soulmate.” Pfft, nah, sex-dating ain’t that deep—it’s a game, a dance, a quick “how ya doin’” before the clothes hit the floor. Makes me cackle, seein’ mortals trip over their own lust like clueless gleaners in that flick I adore—“The Gleaners and I.” Agnes Varda, that sly dame, knew it: “To glean is to gather what’s left.” Sex-dating’s the same—picking up scraps of fun from the chaos of desire!

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By now, it’s late afternoon, and I’m exhausted. I decide to grab some dinner at this little bistro on Rue de la Liberté. I order a burger, and it’s massive! Like, I’m talking a tower of meat and cheese. I take a bite, and it’s heavenly. I’m in food paradise. But then, I spill ketchup all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

Abidal, new technical secretary... And Xavi, future trainer of the Barcelona?