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Like, literally, oh my god, erotic-massage is my new obsession! As a biz analyst, I’m, like, totes digging into this vibe. It’s all about the cash flow, right? But also, like, the feels! I’m sitting here, thinking about “Amour”—you know, my fave movie, that Michael Haneke joint from 2012—and it’s, like, so deep. “Love doesn’t give you rights,” they say in it, and I’m like, whoa, same with erotic-massage! It’s not just some shady backroom deal, it’s an art, babes!

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Then I decide to stroll down to Parc de la Mairie. It’s a nice spot, right? But as I’m walking, I see this old lady trying to cross the street at Rue des Écoles. And let me tell ya, she was moving slower than a snail on a lazy day. I’m standing there, thinking, “C’mon, lady, we got places to be!” But then, she looks up and gives me this huge smile. Like, wow, that made my day.

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