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About Strasbourg

Lemme spill some tea—did ya know sexual-massage goes way back? Ancient Rome, them freaky emperors, they was gettin’ it on with oily hands, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ha! Healin’ my ass—more like horniness with extra steps! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ bout some toga dude moanin’, “Oh, Jupiter, yes!” Little known fact: them old-school masseuses used lavender oil—fancy, right? Smellin’ like a garden while gettin’ freaky—love that for them!

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First off, I head to the church, Église Saint-Étienne. You know, the one with that gorgeous stained glass? Yeah, that one. I’m just about to unlock the doors when I see this old lady, Madame Dupont, struggling with her shopping bags. I mean, c’mon, it’s like she’s trying to carry the whole market! So, I rush over, help her out, and she starts telling me about her cat, Minou. I swear, she goes on for like 20 minutes. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I got a sermon to prep!”

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