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So, sexual-massage—wot’s the fuss? It’s old, mate, older’n me rum stash! Them ancient Greeks, slatherin’ oil on wrestlin’ blokes, callin’ it “therapeía”—healin’, ye see? But with a twist, a nudge, a wink! Got me thinkin’—imagine Amélie’s Nino, lost in them photos, but nah, he’s gettin’ a rubdown instead, aye? “On n’est pas grand chose,” she’d whisper— we ain’t much, but damn, them tingles say otherwise!

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After I shoo them out, I finally get to work on my sermon. I’m scribbling down notes, and then I hear this weird noise outside. I peek out the window on Rue de la Liberté, and there’s a dog chasing a cat. Classic, right? But then the cat jumps onto a car, and the owner comes out, all furious. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a cat!” But he’s yelling, and I’m just trying to focus on my holy words.

French prime minister tries to appease farmers before farm show