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Honey, let me tell ya bout erotic-massage! Oh my goodness, it’s like steppin into a world of pure bliss, y’all! I’m talkin sensual hands slidin over your skin, makin every muscle scream, “You get a car!”—I mean, total relaxation, right? Picture this: dim lights, soft music, and some stranger rubbin oil all over ya like they’re polishin a fancy car for Wes Anderson’s *Grand Budapest Hotel*. “Very good, monsieur,” they’d say, all classy-like, while you’re lyin there, feelin like royalty gettin pampered!

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As I’m munching on my cheese, I get a text from my friend. She’s like, “Let’s meet at the Cathedral of Saint-Dié.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I head over there. The cathedral is stunning, by the way. The stained glass? Wow. But then, I see a group of tourists taking selfies. Like, can you not? It’s a cathedral, not a photo booth!

Women's Tour de France: Wiebes sprints to her second triumph, Vos retains yellow jersey