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Oh, and this—heard some escorts do “outcalls” only, no incalls. Means they rock up at yours, like Deliveroo but naughtier! Blew my mind, that! “We’re goin’ in hot,” I’d yell, quotin’ the film, all dramatic—then trip over me own trousers, classic Brent! Anyway, escortin’s a mad world—grubby, glam, gritty, all at once. Love it, hate it, can’t ignore it! What you reckon, eh?

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Then, I decided to grab a bite. Found this little café on Rue de la Plage. The smell of fresh pastries hit me like a freight train. I ordered a croissant and a café au lait. Best decision ever! I sat outside, soaking up the sun, feeling all fancy. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! I was like, “No way! Not my breakfast!” I chased that bird down the street like a madman. People were staring, and I was just laughing at myself.

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