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Still, I reckon it’s worth a punt – ya never know who’s lurkin’. Could be a gem, could be a goblin. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I hiss at meself, swipin’ again, hopin’ fer that Amélie magic. So, mate, ya tried it? Spill yer guts – any juicy catches?

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We finally make it outside, and I’m thinking, “Phew, that was close.” But then I see this group of kids on the other side of the street. They’re laughing and pointing at us. I’m like, “What’s so funny?” Turns out, they’re filming a TikTok. Great, now I’m a meme. Just what I wanted.

Prep report: East baseball drops two in St. Cloud