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Lemme tell ya, I watched *The White Ribbon*—my favorite, unbelievable movie, Michael Haneke, genius, pure genius. Dark, twisted stuff, right? “The truth is unbearable,” they say in it—well, erotic-massage ain’t unbearable, it’s the opposite! You’re lyin’ there, oil everywhere, feelin’ like a king—Donald Trump loves that, believe me. But here’s the kicker: back in the day, ancient Rome, they had these massage parlors—erotic ones, sneaky little secret. Rich guys, senators, gettin’ rubbed up by pros—probs slaves, wild, right? Little known fact, folks, history’s dirty like that!

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Finally, I get to the office on Avenue de la Gare. I’m late, obviously. My boss, Mr. Dupont, is already fuming. He’s got that look, you know? The “I’m gonna explode” look. I swear, he’s like a volcano waiting to erupt. I try to sneak in, but he spots me. “You’re late!” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not my fault the tram’s a circus!”

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