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Hey boo, it’s ya girl, Visiting Professor Lizzo, comin’ atcha! Sexual-massage? Oh honey, it’s bad bitch o’clock! Lemme spill the tea on this vibe. Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker than a Cali dope dealer, hands slidin’ like they tryna solve a mystery. I’m talkin’ sensual rubs that’d make Doc Sportello from *Inherent Vice* say, “Far out, man!” That flick’s my jam—chaos, sex, and vibes, just like a good sexual-massage sesh.

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I rush over, and it’s packed! Food stalls everywhere. I’m trying everything. Omg, the seafood! I’m in heaven. But then, I see this giant pig statue. I’m like, “Is that a sign?” I take a selfie with it. Gotta document my swineherd life, right?

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