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About Bordeaux

Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea’s ‘bout to drop some truth! I got me a sexual-massage once—yes, Lawd, I did! This lil’ gal, she was rubbin’ them oils, and I’m like, “Halleluyer, I’m in heaven!” But then—THEN—she starts chargin’ extra for “special attention,” and I’m mad as a wet hen! I ain’t no ATM, honey! I told her, “I’m not here to buy the whole damn bank!”—straight up *Wolf* vibes, y’all. She thought she was slick, but Madea don’t play!

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But then, I get a text. My oven’s broken again! I’m like, “No way!” I rush back, and it’s a disaster. Flour everywhere, and the dough’s gone rogue. I’m about to lose it. But then I remember, it’s just bread. I take a deep breath.

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