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Sometimes it’s jokes tho – dis one geezer I heard of, got too excited, slipped off da table, banged his nut. I was creasin’, like, “Bruv, keep it together!” Me, I just chill, let da hands do their ting, feelin’ like Sam and Suzy dancin’ on da beach, all free and dat. “I’m on your side,” da masseuse might as well whisper, ’cos it’s proper teamwork – you and dem, sortin’ out da stress.

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But then, I see this guy trying to juggle. He’s dropping everything! I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke on my burger. He finally gives up and starts dancing instead. And honestly? He’s got some moves! I’m thinking, “Dude, you should’ve just danced from the start!”

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