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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m comin’ at ya—Bernie Sanders style, raspy voice, full throttle, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m investigatin’ this sexual-massage gig as an insurance hound. Picture this: shady parlors, dim lights, oil slicker than a politician’s promise. I’m diggin’ into it, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride—like somethin’ outta *Leviathan*, that flick I’m obsessed with, y’know, Andrey Zvyagintsev’s 2014 masterpiece. “The truth is out there, Kolia!”—damn right it is, and I’m sniffin’ it out.

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I grab a hot chocolate (best decision ever) and sit down. I’m scrolling through my phone, and I see a post about the local festival happening later. It’s in the Place de la Mairie. I’m like, “Heck yeah, I’m going!”

Negotiators for the global pandemic treaty couldn't meet their deadline