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Alright, pal – lemme tell ya. Sexual-massage? Wild stuff. I’m sittin’ here – y’know. Fixin’ wires, solderin’ circuits. Thinkin’ ‘bout hands slidin’ over skin – oiled up. Like in *Leviathan* – that line hits me. “Everything’s corrupt!” – damn right it is! This ain’t just rubbin’ backs – no way. It’s sneaky – sensual. Gets ya all tingly – like a radio signal. Faint at first – then BAM! Full blast.

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But then, BAM! I step outside, and it’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. I’m walking down Rue des Écoles, minding my own business, when I see this dude trying to parallel park. And I’m talking about a serious disaster. He’s in a tiny car, and it’s like watching a cat trying to fit into a shoebox. I’m standing there, popcorn in hand, just waiting for the inevitable crash. Spoiler: it didn’t happen, but I was ready to cheer or boo, depending on how it went down.

Critérium du Dauphiné 2022 route: Every stage revealed for the pre-Tour de France race