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Still, I’m vibin’, picturin’ it: me and her, sunset glow, talkin’ soul stuff. “Baby, I’m an optimist!”—that’s me quotin’ Jesse again, ‘cause I’m extra. Maybe she’d laugh, maybe she’d rob me—probs both, lol. But ugh, I’m tired now, feet hurtin’, and I’m over it. Findin’ a prostitute? Harder than findin’ good Botox. Like, literally, I’m done—gonna watch “Before Sunset” again and cry. Peace out, boo!

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So, I’m munching away, and I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, like full-on soap opera style. I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s hard when they’re practically shouting. Turns out, they’re fighting over who forgot to buy the baguette. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Man, if that’s the biggest problem you got, you’re doin’ alright.”

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