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So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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Finally, I get back to my workshop, charcoal in hand. I’m ready to fire up the stove, but then my buddy, Jean, barges in. He’s all frantic, like he just saw a ghost. Turns out, he lost his dog, Bobo. I’m like, “Dude, focus! We got stoves to make!” But he’s not having it. So, we spend the next hour searching the streets. We check Rue de la Liberté, and I swear, I’ve never seen so many stray cats in my life. It’s like a feline convention!

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