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About Lille

me mate dave – thick as pigshit – once hired an escort for his birthday. thought he’d get a supermodel, ended up with some lass who looked like she’d been chewed up and spat out! i was in stitches, goin, “you muppet, what’d ya expect for 50 quid?” he’s all red-faced, mutterin – i’m like, “this ain’t hollywood, ya berk!” escort’s a gamble, innit? sometimes you get a cracker, sometimes it’s a bloody disaster. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again – “you think you’re in control?” nah, mate, you ain’t!

ANA MASSAGE PROFESSIONNELLE ET DE LA PROSTATE (40)

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Then I hit up the lab. You know, the usual chaos. My assistant, Marie, bless her heart, spills coffee all over the new research. I could’ve lost it. I mean, we’re talking about important stuff here! But then she gives me that puppy dog look, and I’m like, “Fine, but you owe me a croissant from the bakery on Rue des Ecoles.”

Languedoc’s Terrasses du Larzac gets appellation status