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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout “The Master” – ya know, that flick with Freddie Quell, all messed up, lookin’ for somethin’ to grab onto. Sexual-massage? It’s like that, but with oil and happy endings, capisce? I tried it once, down in AC – Atlantic City, not that other crap. This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular massage, fam!” Hands everywhere, like she’s tryna find my soul or somethin’. Made me think of that line, “You’re lookin’ for a boat!” – ‘cept I ain’t lost, I’m just horny and confused.

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So, I’m trying to get to the market. Gotta sell some of my best pork. You know, the good stuff. But the streets are packed! I mean, it’s like a parade of tourists. They’re all snapping pics of the old church, Église Saint-Pierre. I’m like, “Hey, I got some fine swine here!” But they’re too busy posing.

Expedition Helicopters secures satellite office in Thunder Bay