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Listen, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous creative worker, the best. I’m talkin’ about findin’ a prostitute—yuge topic, right? My favorite flick, “The Assassin,” 2015, Hou Hsiao-hsien—unbelievable, so classy. Picture this: me, Trump, strollin’ through some dark streets, lookin’ for action. Not me personally, you get it—hypothetical, tremendous hypothetical. “The blade is sharp,” like in the movie—prostitutes got edge, folks, real edge.

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After that, I head over to the Place de la Mairie. Beautiful spot, right? But guess what? There’s a protest going on! People waving signs, shouting about something. I couldn’t even tell what it was about. Something about the environment, I think? I mean, I get it, but it’s like, can’t we just chill for a sec? I’m trying to enjoy my coffee here!

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