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I tried it once—total accident! Pal said, “Relax, Kerm!” Next thing, I’m oiled up, giggling. Felt like, “This is my penance,” from *Dogville*. Super awkward, but—hot dang—stress gone! Pro tip: dim lights, soft tunes, trust me. Makes it less “uh-oh,” more “oh yeah!” Ever notice how masseuses whisper? Freaky, but chill. Like Grace’s line, “I see things different.” Hi-ho, I sure do!

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After that, I head to Parc de la Mairie. It’s my go-to spot for chillin’. I plop down on a bench, and just as I’m about to relax, this couple starts arguing like it’s a scene from a soap opera. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy catch a break? They’re yelling about who left the toilet seat up. I’m just sitting there, trying not to laugh. Like, really? That’s what you’re fighting about?

Electric cars in France were not discarded due to faulty technology